(Source: broocewayne, via myintimatefriend)

jaclcfrost:

bare minimum? i thought you meant bear minimum. as in the smallest amount of bears possible. which is why i brought one bear. there’s one bear. aka. the smallest amount of bears possible. i mean this is a problem but at least it’s not like. bear maximum

(via cat--president)

sirbombalot:

Fill your heart with bees. If someone breaks your heart, then they have to deal with the bees.

(via theadventuresofkodpiece)

batreaux:

You bump into a man on the subway wearing a trenchcoat. You apologize and he responds “Its alright. We’re only human. All of us. All of us here are human. Yep. Very human. I’m probably the most human here! You betcha.” and then the trenchcoat falls and the figure collapses and roughly 1000 salamanders scatter around the train 

(via the-fault-in-our-wifi)

rabababe:

labyrinthresource:

What kind of magic spell to use to eviscerate my enemies and secure the realm?Original static manip

Screw Stannis, Cersei, even Danaerys— I want DAVID BOWIE to rule the Seven Kingdoms!

rabababe:

labyrinthresource:

What kind of magic spell to use to eviscerate my enemies and secure the realm?

Original static manip

Screw Stannis, Cersei, even Danaerys— I want DAVID BOWIE to rule the Seven Kingdoms!

(via anorie)

jaclcfrost:

[looks fondly at character]

ah, there he is. that motherfucker. what a tool

(via thealienplanet)

silverandcrimson:

skeletonhaver:

nine out of ten dentists recommend Colgate. the last one won’t stop recommending “the flesh of the innocent” and “thousands and thousands of skulls, staring, judging” and quite frankly we aren’t sure if he’s a real dentist or not

(Source: sexhaver, via thealienplanet)

recreationalcannibalism:

the-adequate-gatsby:

stultifyandstupefy:

derpes:

And God said unto Abraham, “Abraham.”

And Abraham replied, “What.”

God said to John, “Come forth and receive eternal life.” But John came fifth and won a toaster.

And Judas approached the rabbis and Pharisees saying, “The one whom I kiss is the one you seek.”

To which they responded, “Gay.” 

And thus, god made Eve. And she was bammin’ slammin’ bootylicious.

(via theadventuresofkodpiece)

the-average-gatsby:

imagine a horror movie where you’re trapped in your house with a serial killer but all your lights are clappers

so you’re running for your life from this psychopath while both of you are just aggressively clapping the lights on and off

(via misandryismight)

(via c-isnenegro)